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As I sit down to write these lines, my goal is very clear: I need to find words to describe the intensity and richness of emotions that I have just lived here, during two months at Centre César. If ever the whirlwind of my day to day life here in Montréal makes me forget, I will have a way to remember the conviction which I felt while working at the Centre. In fact it is simply the brightly lit faces, dignified and full of gratitude, of thirteen widows, whom I love and admire deeply, which will make it clear: I want to return to Centre César and continue my work with them.
My name is Mélanie and I am completing my doctorate in psychology. During the course of my studies I found myself at Centre César in order to complete a research project. The project’s main objective was to better understand the process of psychological adaptation of genocide survivors following the loss and traumas they have suffered. The project also attempted to identify the contribution of Centre César in this process of adaption.
Thirteen wonderful women had the courage to sit down with me to share their stories, and their progress. Surely, after having lived through hell on earth these women are still deeply scarred both physically and psychologically. But, if like me, you have seen their faces light up when they share their experiences about the Centre...
Several results have emerged from the completed analysis. In short, in many ways the arrival of Nicole Pageau in Rwanda and the subsequent creation of Centre César have completely changed the widow’s lives by not only allowing them to survive, but to live again. Moreover, the women interviewed overwhelmingly agreed on how the concrete aid offered by the Centre (food bank, medical consultation services, sponsorship for students) permitted them not only to fulfill their basic needs and those of their family, but to finally hope for a better future for themselves and their children. Certain women even found a purpose to their survival in contributing to the development of the next generation, which their children are part of.
In addition to the concrete aid offered, the Centre César for these women represents a physical, psychological and social setting which allows them to recreate the family structure precious to Rwandans, something lost during the genocide. The widows have also made Maman Nicole a symbolic maternal figure in their lives. In Nicole several have found the warmth, support, empathy, and secure feeling that they lost in losing their own mothers. The best thing Maman Nicole has done for them? To have the courage to sit down with them, to listen, to cry, to share their sorrow...
Although it brought both comfort and relief, the process of opening up was arduous for the participants. However, this permitted me to better understand the relationship they have with their pasts and to identify paths of intervention for the future. Futhermore, the Centre César has now hired a new psychologist who will slowly work with the widows to help them slowly reclaim their pasts...
If humanity failed in Rwanda in 1994, it has now returned in this little paradise that is the Centre César. It has allowed a whole community of hurt widows to return to life again... I wish with all my heart to continue to build this humanity, as working and living with the women of Centre César is like “shaking hands with God!”
Mélanie Vachon
Ubuntu Edmonton wishes to thank the Wild Rose Foundation for their financial support of our projects.
